Overwhelming Emotions
by veredgf
Summary: An ensign realizes that she is overreacting emotionally, but is she the only one?
1. Chapter 1

**_(My first ever FanFic, written back in 1997, saved from disappearing into oblivion)_**

* * *

 _OVERWHELMING EMOTIONS, by Vered Gilad_

 _Series: TOS_

 _Rating: PG for a few minor adult words (no graphic scenes_ _whatsoever)_

 _Special note: No romance_

 _Short description: An ensign realizes that she is overreacting_ _emotionally, but is she the only one?_

 _Writer's Note:_

 _If someone would have asked me to write a story about two or three_ _years ago, I would have told that person "Yeah, right - and pigs will_ _fly", so I was wondering myself what happened to me a few days ago_ _when a strange unknown urge got me sitting in front of the computer,_ _and writing my first ever (and possibly my last) fan-fiction. So having_ _said that I would like people to bear in mind that I am no author, just_ _a fan who suddenly needed to express herself. I am a novice at this,_ _and although I would like comments (pats on my back, preferred) I_ _would like them to take mercy on my poor soul._

 _Well, I hope that you will enjoy this._

 _Vered_

 _*The* disclaimer:_

 _What can I say, Paramount is the soul owner of Star Trek and its_ _characters, so I shall not expect to earn anything out of this one._ _Well, it's not that I want to, anyway. I also salute The Great Bird of_ _the Galaxy for creating this wonderful series and its so very loved_ _characters._

* * *

 **Overwhelming Emotions**

Sitting in her cabin, thinking if she ever did choose the right profession. The uniform lay on the bed. Well it wasn't exactly what she would have called 'laid'. It was a pile of something blue. She had just taken it off and thrown it on the bed.

 _I hate my mind for thinking too much_ she thought, and out aloud she said "Damn!". She couldn't hold the tears any longer. They fell, but she didn't cry loud. She couldn't live with the knowledge of people knowing her plight, and despair. She lay on the cot and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

She woke up with a start. The chronometer said 08:32 ship time.

"Shit!" she blurted. Her heart pounded at the thought that she had to face the shame of being late for duty. She was due on the bridge in one minute, and there was no way she was going to make it. Without any other options she called Uhura on the bridge and asked her to stay a few minutes longer. Uhura was surprised but didn't object.

"I have a few minor diagnostics I was intending to run on the system anyhow, so I might as well do those now. Don't worry. I'll cover for you, so you don't have to rush. I prefer my replacements calm and composed."

 _Bless Uhura_ she thought _but I doubt that not rushing it would_ _help me become more calm and composed._

With a very audible sigh, she turned the comm console off and went to the shower. She was ready in five minutes. Her hair, being curly, did not need much organizing. _For once I can be grateful for my_ _curly hair._ Now, standing before her cabin door, she took a deep breath, put a calm look on her face and stepped out of the door.

The corridors weren't full. A few crewpersons walked by and she greeted them as she paced quickly towards the turbo-lift. She wanted to run like mad, but she had to appear 'calm and composed', or she would draw too much attention to herself. The lift doors did not open as she arrived. Well, Murphy is certainly doing his job today she thought. When a minute had passed and the lift still did not arrive she began thinking that something was wrong. Just as she was about to press the button on the comm console, and ask what was going on, the lift decided to come. Without wasting time she entered the lift, but she was not alone. Chekov and Sulu were on their way to their cabins after finishing their shift.

Chekov grinned. "Good evening Leela" he said, and Sulu followed with a polite "Ensign".

"Good evening" She replied. _God, what an awkward moment. Why_ _couldn't the lift be empty?._ A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed between them, when finally Chekov stated the obvious: "You are late for your shift".

Her eyes were on the verge of rolling, but of course she could not do this in front of the two officers. She decided to opt for the truth: "I know. I overslept, but, thank the Goddess, Uhura is such an angel, and was willing to cover for me".

Sulu examined her face closely: "Did you go to sleep late?".

Now she felt uncomfortable. Could he see that I had been crying last night? Are my eyes still swollen? But she remembered that she appeared quite 'normal' when she peered at her reflection in the mirror a few minutes before. "No. I guess I'm just more tired than usual" she said, and Chekov gave her a sympathetic look "Da, I know the feeling" to which she gave him a thankful smile.

 _Am I just imagining this, or is it taking me ages to reach the bridge_ _today?_ She checked her chronometer, but not much time had passed. It was just one of these times when things happened to appear slower when you wanted them to move faster. The lift deposited Sulu and Chekov on their deck and swiftly moved to deposit her on the bridge. At the sound of the opening turbolift doors Uhura turned around from her console and gave her a little grin. Leela glanced towards the Captain's chair, but it was empty. A bit confused, she stepped down towards Uhura: "Who has the con?"

"Oh" said Uhura "I do".

Leela looked even more confused "Where's the second shift con officer?".

A young ensign from the science console replied "I'm here".

Leela recognized Mary Crane So, Crane's been chosen for this position after all. A cloud passed over her face, but realizing quickly that this might be detected she quickly recomposed herself _I hope_ _Uhura didn't notice,_ but Uhura was still engrossed with giving that diagnostic to the communication station. She almost let out a sigh of relief, but caught herself _Now, *that* would be noticed, don't you_ _think?._

* * *

After Uhura left the bridge, Leela sat at the console and tried to keep track of the various communication traffic going around the ship. It didn't take long for her thoughts to wander elsewhere. She was remembering her final year of Starfleet academy, while she and Crane were cramming for the final examinations.

They had both chosen the communication field, but she had always been better than Crane. Well, Leela always remembered being more technical than the average person. She ended helping Crane in every step of the way, and Crane had a lot to thank her for graduating. She wasn't stupid, she was just not cut for communications. _They should_ _have screened her out of the department right at the start_ Leela thought.

When they were both studying for the last exam, Crane suddenly looked up from the chart she was memorizing, and said "Leela, I'm just kidding myself here".

Leela remembered looking up from the book she was reading, not comprehending what Crane was aiming at "What are you talking about?! We've gone over this so many times. I know you know this material" Leela said.

"Oh, Leela, you cannot coax me all my life. I'm not cut for this job."

"Well, great time for you to figure that out" but after she said it, Leela was sorry. Crane didn't expect that reaction.

"I'm sorry" Leela said.

"No, don't be. You're so right. I knew this all along. It's just that Mom was so keen on me following in her footsteps".

Leela did feel sorry for her. She had always known that communication was her field, and she would have pursued it even if she were not accepted to Starfleet.

In the end, Crane decided to change to command school. She remained one more year in the academy, while Leela was assigned to the Enterprise. One year later, Leela was surprised to find the Crane had also joined the Enterprise crew. She was one of the relief helmsmen, as appropriate for any command officer.

Now, though, she couldn't help but feel envy. No, it was more like terrible jealousy. _*What* is going on with you_ she told herself. _You are a friend of Crane's. You were never cut for command._ _Everybody is different,_ but however hard she tried, she could not shake these nasty feelings, and it was no surprise that she responded with an angry "What?!" when Crane called her name.

"Leela, are you listening to what I'm saying?"

 _Hah?_ "I'm sorry sir" She felt resent rise in her when she called Crane 'sir'.

"Could you repeat it, please?".

Crane looked at her rather impatiently "We need Mr. Spock on the bridge. He has asked us to contact him once the analysis he was running had finished"

Leela didn't need to be told any further. She was playing the console just as good as Uhura did, and immediately got Spock on the comm, apprised him of the situation, which he acknowledged.

She was annoyed at herself, for getting lost in her thoughts while on duty. _Maybe I should ask for some leave, get my thoughts_ _organized_ she thought. But that would mean having to explain to her superiors that she was experiencing personal difficulties, and they might give her permanent leave. _No, I can't start with this whole_ _thing again. I have to stay alert, otherwise I'll slip again, and *that*_ _would draw someone's' attention._

The whoosh of the turbolift doors brought her out of her current reverie. Mr. Spock, all crisp and ready for work, as if he had never awoken from a good night's sleep in the middle of the night about five minutes ago, stepped on the bridge. Crane jumped up "Would you like to assume command, sir?" she chirped.

Spock turned towards her "It will not be necessary, ensign. I am only here to check the results of my analysis".

Suddenly Leela felt such huge hatred for the first officer. It was absurd. She wanted to shout at him. No, she wanted to punch the sunlight out of him _Get-a-grip-on-your-self_ She ordered in her mind, and at that moment Spock suddenly turned towards her, and she could unmistakably note the surprise in his face. Leela turned around quickly. _He couldn't have heard that. Oh Goddess, I hope he_ _couldn't feel that._ She didn't turn around again, and she hoped to her dear Goddess that she won't need to do so, yet, she couldn't brush her unusual feelings. Maybe I should ask for that leave, after all she thought.

Spock was about to move towards the science station when the uncontrolled feeling of rage hit him. It was like a blast, and he felt he would have surely keeled over had he not been holding the back of the command chair. He looked behind him, at the direction that the hateful thoughts emanated from. Ensign Leela Gray. Could she be the source of such hate? The answer came with the swiftness with which she turned back to her console. Spock gained his equilibrium back, and was now pondering on what had just happened. He filed that thought to be retrieved later on. He should discuss this with McCoy. At the moment, the analysis was much more urgent and needed his complete attention. He could not spare the time to check this interference.

* * *

The rest of the shift was uneventful. Leela's thoughts did wander from time to time, but she managed to hold herself together. Spock had left the bridge after about an hour of analysis running, and did not look at her again after the incident. She hoped that it was all forgotten.

 _Damn that Vulcan. Can't hide a thing from him._ She was glad to see Uhura the next day. She smiled a weary smile to which Uhura responded with a pat on the back. She rose from her seat, left various instructions for Uhura, and then headed for the lift. As the lift doors opened she heard steps behind her. She entered the lift and turned towards the person which approached her. It was Crane.

Crane smiled at her, and suddenly Leela couldn't understand why she was so jealous of her before.

"Boring shift, Heh?" Crane said.

"Yeah, but what did you expect from the second shift." Leela replied.

"Do you think that someone decided on this rule that all the unexplained, and unexpected events always occur during the day shift?" Crane asked.

"Dunno. Sure seems so" and they laughed.

"C'mon Leela, lets go to the mess hall and grab a bite".

Leela looked up, and a few seconds passed until she finally replied "Sure. Why not".

* * *

After breakfast, or dinner, as it could have been viewed, Leela bid goodbye to Crane and went to her cabin. She was off duty now for 48 hours. There were two second shift replacements, as it was considered a rougher shift. Uhura had day replacements who came in every time she had some other activity to take care of, but she was expected to be on the bridge on a daily basis. Chief of communications was no easy job. It demanded constant alertness of a very high level. The more hectic shift of the morning kept the communications officer more on his or her toes most of the time, but it was well known that the second shift was slower and thus there was a stronger tendency to not paying attention all of the time.

By the time she reached her cabin Leela realized how drained she was. She sat down on her bunk and thought about what had happened. _Spock couldn't have known it was me, now, could he?_ But she knew that he did, and strong feelings of butterflies in her belly almost made her sick. _You've got to calm down! People feel_ _hate and anger all the time. It's not your fault that the Vulcan felt it._

But she did think it was odd. Spock was known as a touch-telepath. She was not aware of his ability to read a mind from a distance. The sick feeling was beginning to ease. She got up, stretched and went to the shower. A small peep in the mirror confirmed that she was definitely tired. _I'd better sleep this off, and it will hopefully go_ she told herself.

She had just gotten into bed and ordered the lights off, when the chime at her door rang. She thought it could have been Jamie, her partner. They shared the room, but Jamie worked the day shift in astrophysics.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Leela, sorry to bother you" said Crane from the other side of the door, and Leela thought What now?

"Can I come in? "said a rather anxious Crane.

Well, she might as well let her in. "Yes" and the door open at her request.

The moment the door closed behind her, Crane started talking, but Leela couldn't really understand what she was saying.

"Leela"

"Oh"

"I don't know"

"What do you think?"

"Oh".

Leela got out of bed and went towards Crane who was standing in the middle of the room. She pulled her towards the bed and got her to sit down.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Huh?" an anguished Crane looked up at her.

"Oh. Yes, yes, I've never been better" Crane replied.

"So do you mind telling me why you're talking in such an incoherent fashion?" Leela said, a little impatient. Did she feel that resentment come back?

Crane looked up, a bit surprised, and Leela felt herself going back to that other unkind remark she said to Crane on that day in the academy. She wasn't aware of her ability to be so brusque at times.

But Crane immediately recollected herself. "You're right" she said. "I'm just babbling. It's just that something wonderful has happened and I'm both delighted and worried at the same time".

When Leela didn't say a word, Crane took it as a sign to continue and so she did "After I left you for my cabin, I found a message on my terminal from Mr. Sulu. He had requested me to come and talk with him on the bridge. So when I got there he asked the Captain to excuse us and took me to the briefing room".

Leela was beginning to feel impatient, but she waited silently for Crane to get it over with.

"Leela, He asked me to become a day relief for him!" she almost shouted it with such joy.

It was then that Leela felt such a lump in her throat. She wanted to congratulate Crane, to tell her how happy she was for her, but all she could do was sit and stare. She was unable to say a single kind word.

Crane was waiting for some form of response. She obviously did not expect the silent treatment that Leela was giving her.

"Well?" Crane said, but Leela seemed to be staring at some unknown point in the wall.

"LEELA - did you hear what I just told you?"

 _I did_ thought Leela _I'm happy for you_ thought Leela. Crane shook Leela with the hope of getting some response, and at that moment Leela got up and quickly ran to the bathroom. She threw up and began to cry.

Crane was pounding on the door.

"Leela!"

"LEELA! - are you alright?"

Crane could hear the audible sound of vomiting, and was quite worried. She did not expect such a reaction to her news. Maybe Leela wasn't feeling well to start with. "Leela, I'm coming in. You need help, OK?" she said.

Leela managed to break her crying long enough to tell Crane that she was alright, and had probably eaten something rotten. But Crane wouldn't give up.

"Leela, we only eat synthesized food. It can't go bad. C'mon, let me in."

Leela got up from the floor and washed her face. She tried to look as presentable as possible. She had really messed things up now. She opened the bathroom door and stared at Crane's distraught face. She gave her a smile, and was amazed to see the immediate change that that little gesture made on Cranes face.

"I'm sorry" Leela said.

"I'm really glad for you. Are you still going to man the helm and con in the second shift?"

Crane was still not over what had just transpired, and was a bit overwhelmed at how easily Leela moved on as if nothing had happened.

"Leela, are you alright?"

"I told you, I wasn't feeling too well. It's over now, so you don't have to worry about it. Anyhow, you didn't answer my question." she said and looked at Crane expectantly.

Crane wasn't quite sure what to do about this, but seeing that Leela was holding her own, decided to let it go for now.

"Second shift, ummm, I have to discuss the exact details with Mr. Sulu. He'll be briefing me later on this day."

After about another quarter of an hour Crane left, although she did give a final glance at Leela behind her back as Leela's cabin doors were closing behind her. As soon as Crane left, Leela dropped like a log on the bed. She was asleep in a matter of seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Spock was on his way to the mess hall when he met Dr. McCoy going in the same direction.

"Hello, Spock" said McCoy.

"Good day, Doctor" he replied. The doctor did seem in a good mood, which Spock thought was rather unusual. McCoy was, after all, well known as the ultimate grumbler. This made him curious.

"Doctor, I hope you would not mind if I would ask you why you are in such a good mood?"

McCoy stopped dead in his tracks and turned to stand directly in front of Spock.

"For your information, Spock, even you with your countless attempts to destroy my good nature, will not succeed today"

Spock raised an eyebrow. This was certainly going to be interesting. He couldn't help but feel some curiousity. "Doctor, I never attempted to do any harm to your good nature. I always believed that you were quite able of doing that on your own".

Now Spock noticed a hint of angry glitter pass over McCoy's eyes, but to the Doctor's credit, he really did manage to control himself. "Doctor, I am forced to admit that you have peaked my curiousity"

McCoy looked at Spock mischievously, as they began walking again. "Well Spock, if you really want to know, I have received a transmission from Joanna and she will be meeting me on Starbase 13 next month. She's been stationed there for a period of half a year as a training nurse".

Understanding dawned on Spock. He had met Joanna McCoy once and she was a lovely, intelligent lady. He always contemplated at how such an open-minded person could be Dr. McCoy's child. He decided, though, that this would not be the appropriate time to bring that subject up.

"I am genuinely pleased to hear this, Doctor..." and before he could manage to complete his sentence McCoy butted in "Oh, can't you for once step out of that Vulcan hide of yours and get a little bit more excited?" he said in an exasperated voice.

Spock raised his eyebrow for the second time "Doctor, haven't I just said so?"

"Hrummmph" grumbled McCoy, and strode over to the food dispenser.

McCoy was chewing on an unidentified piece of food, staring at Spock's empty plate. "I can't believe that you ate so fast" he said.

Spock looked at McCoy, but said nothing.

"Are you sure you ate enough?" McCoy asked.

"Doctor, I can assure you that I had the adequate amount of nutritional ingredients suitable for my diet" Spock replied patiently.

"Well, I'm the doctor and *I* will be the judge of that" he replied.

Spock opened his mouth to explain the issue to the doctor, when he suddenly felt the same wave of rage that hit him before, but this time it was far worse. A sick nauseous feeling crept up his abdomen, and he was barely holding the tears in his eyes.

McCoy had raised his head from his plate when Spock had not responded to his last comment, and was astonished to find the horrified stare of the Vulcan's face.

"Spock!"

"SPOCK!"

The crewpersons present in the room turned to stare at them. Spock was still locked in some odd trance, and McCoy had begun to shake him.

Spock tried to fight the agony his mind was going through. He felt the anger burrow into him. All his mind control skills were needed for him to be able to still stay conscious, but he was feeling that his shield was weakening and the angry assault did not cease.

Suddenly, it was all over, and he became aware of McCoy slapping his face to and fro. Instinctively he raised his hand and gripped the doctor's hand firmly. "Doctor, that is no longer be necessary. I am quite all right now".

McCoy, his face full of distress, faced Spock and couldn't help himself "Don't you dare do that thing to me again"

Spock opened his mouth, about to respond, but McCoy had no time for nonsense. "Come on, you're going with me to sickbay" and he pulled his hand out of the Vulcan's grip. He wanted to yank Spock by his pointy ear and drag him to sickbay. Only out of consideration for the Vulcan's sensitivity to being touched did he manage to restrain himself.

"What are you all staring at" he yelled at the gathering crowd of crewpersons, who could not ignore the desperate cries of the doctor. "Show's over. Now you all just go about your business, and I'll go about mine!"

He got up, but Spock was still sitting. "What's going on Spock?! I know you're not deaf. I told you to come with me to sickbay. That is an order from your CMO. Now step on it!"

Although Spock knew that it was almost pointless to argue with McCoy when he got to that state, he could not see the rational reason for which he had to go to sickbay.

"Doctor, there is no point in me following you to sickbay. I can assure you that I am perfectly well, and you will find nothing wrong with me if you will scan my body"

McCoy did not budge. "Well, if you don't mind me reminding you of the fact that *I* am the doctor around here, and *I* want to examine you for my own personal purposes. Now if you wouldn't mind indulging *my* curiousity for a change, and follow me to sickbay" and he gestured with his hand in the direction of the exit.

Spock was ready to heave a sigh, but refrained from doing so. It would serve no logical purpose. He rose from his seat and followed the rather satisfied McCoy out of the mess hall.

McCoy was glancing at Spock who didn't utter a word all the way to sickbay _Well, maybe that's for the better_ he thought. When the arrived, he pointed towards the nearest diagnostic bed, and told Spock to go and lie down. Christine Chapel peered out of his office door.

"Dr. McCoy, is there something wrong? Can I help you with anything?" Then she looked at the direction of the diagnostic beds and saw who was lying on the first one. Her heart skipped a beat.

McCoy read the expression on her face as she noted Spock's presence. He decided to leave her out of this for the time being. It was bad enough having a Vulcan reacting emotionally, but combine that with a neurotic nurse and you might as well go space happy. "No nurse. I think I can manage quite all right on my own. I'll call you if I'll need any help".

Reluctantly, Christine Chapel slid back into the room. The doctor truly felt sorry for her.

Spock felt the doctor's scrutiny all over him. He gazed at the diagnostic bed's readout above him. everything was perfectly normal, just as he had suspected, but he had to admit to himself that it was good to have this machine confirm it. McCoy had poked him with various instruments, only to discover that the Vulcan was absolutely right. But he had been with him and had seen his reaction to _something_.

"Doctor, if you wouldn't mind. I would like to return to duty"

McCoy was feeling rather tired from this whole affair. It was hard for him to admit it to the Vulcan, but he would not be able to live if something horrible happened to that pointy-eared friend of his.

"Spock, I hate to admit it but you were right, but, I suspect you know more about this than you're telling"

Now it was Spock's turn to admit that the doctor was right, but how could he explain his suspicions without hurting Leela Gray?

"Doctor, I would appreciate it if you did not pry into this matter any further"

McCoy was beginning to get furious "Spock! if your life is in danger I would like to know!" He yelled at him. Then he heard the sound of something dropping. Turning around he saw nurse Chapel picking up a book from the floor. She was biting her hand. _I can't deal with her_ _now_ McCoy thought.

The Vulcan sat up and got off the bed. "Doctor, I will investigate this matter further and will get back to you. Now, I am late for duty, if you will excuse me" and he was out of the sickbay doors.

McCoy thought of going after him, then decided to leave him for the time being. There was nothing physically wrong with him, so it was out of his territory. He sighed, and went to comfort Christine Chapel.


	3. Chapter 3

The chime at her door was ringing and Leela tried to think it to stop. When it would not, she opened her eyes. The chronometer said 14:52 ship time. She was still tired, and wondered who was so impolite to come and barge in like this when the sign on her door said "2nd shift person resting till 18:00 ship time". Finally the door opened on its own accord. This did startle her. Her eyes blinked at the sight of the light coming from the corridor. As they adjusted to this change, she noticed the figure of the thin Vulcan entering her cabin. She had no doubt why he had come and a strong feeling of fear ran through her body. To her surprise, the Vulcan reacted to _her_ feeling. He looked like he had been slapped on the face.

His reaction brought her to her senses and she jumped out of bed to catch him before he fell. Her fear was gone, and it amazed her to see this on the Vulcan's face.

"Lights" she ordered.

Mr. Spock stood by the cabin door. There was no point in pretending that she did not know why he had come.

"Sir, would you like to sit down?" she pointed towards a chair. The Vulcan hadn't uttered a single sound, and she was beginning to feel nervous again.

Spock took Leela's offer and sat down, then he looked up at her face and really took it in for the first time. She was a small built woman.

The word petite came to mind. She had a thick mane of long black curly hair. Small lips and small blue-gray eyes. _Almost the same_ _colour of McCoy's eyes,_ he mused. Also her nose was small and pointy. He thought of the Captain's reaction to such a woman, and he could only come up with the words 'not satisfactory'.

"Ensign Gray" he began "I believe you know the reason for me coming to visit you".

He couldn't help noticing the young woman fidget on her bed.

She looked down at the carpeting as she spoke "I do, sir".

The Vulcan continued "As you know, I am a touch telepath. I do not have the ability to receive messages and feelings from people with whom I am not in physical contact" That wasn't quite the truth. He had felt the Captain's feelings even when they were far apart, but he attributed this to his closeness to the Captain. He was not going to reveal this intimate side of him to this strange person.

Abruptly the ensign cried out "You had no right! This was private! It's not my fault!"

Spock thought that she was going to burst in tears any moment. Her lips were trembling. So were her hands.

"I suggest that you calm down ensign. I respect your privacy and I would not think of revealing a person's personal feelings, without his permission, or if any other dire situation arose".

Leela stared at him with big worried eyes. Could she trust him? He was the First Officer. Why wouldn't he go running to the captain telling him about her. But he did give her a promise.

"Sir, I would appreciate it if that is exactly what you did".

Spock nodded with understanding and then said "Ensign, how long have you been able to send such strong feelings?"

Leela thought about this "Sir, I was not aware of the fact that you were able to sense my feelings".

It was Spock's turn to think this over. He couldn't really explain this. She was obviously able to penetrate his mental shielding, but he had run a background check on her before he came by her cabin. Leela Gray was as normal as normal can get, and she had been serving on the Enterprise for more than a year now. He could not understand why, suddenly, Ensign Gray showed a strong tendency towards some form of telepathy. He wanted to do some tests and find out more, but he had a strong feeling that the ensign would object.

When Spock didn't say anything for over five minutes, Leela was beginning to believe that he might go back on his promise.

"Sir, I hope I haven't done anything wrong"

Her worried tone brought him out of his reverie. He could do nothing at the moment. They were about to approach their current destination and set on a new mission. He would have to discuss this in depth when that mission was concluded. He told this to the ensign, who seemed relieved, and left.

* * *

As he was walking down the corridor towards the lift, he heard the Captain's voice on the comm.

"Spock here" he replied after pressing the nearest comm panel button.

"Spock" the Captain's voice said "Would you mind dropping by my cabin"

Spock had a feeling that he knew the reason for the Captain requesting his presence "I'll be there in 30 seconds, Sir" He acknowledged.

* * *

Jim Kirk put a plain shirt on, took a towel and gave his wet hair a more thorough dry. He checked his chronometer: 28 seconds, 29, 30 and the expected chime ringing at his cabin door.

"Enter" he called out.

The door slid open to reveal Mr. Spock. The Captain noted that his first officer looked splendidly well, despite what McCoy had described happening earlier.

"Spock" The Captain began "Dr. McCoy told me about a strange incident in the mess hall this morning" he paused and checked Spock's face for any reaction. There was none there.

"Captain, did the good Doctor also mention that I had asked him not to pry into this matter, before I will come up with some more information of my own?" He looked directly at the Captain's face.

"He did seem to mention this, but you know Bones' tendency to listen to good advice"

Now the Captain did note a slight reaction on Spock's face, which he interpreted as a sigh. "Spock, I believe you know that there is no reason to hide this information from us. We have gone through so much together. I thought that you trusted me" and his tone did sound a bit hurt.

Spock felt something snap inside him, but outwardly he kept his composure "Captain, if it had only to do with my privacy, I would have no difficulty in revealing this information, but the matter concerns another person's privacy and until I will get this person's permission, I do not intend to breach this privacy".

Even though Kirk could understand Spock's reasons, he did not like it that something was going on, on _his_ ship which he did not know of, what's more, that it affected his first officer and best friend. He weighed the possibilities in front of him, and decided to give Spock some leeway for the mean time.

"Alright Spock, I guess I respect that, but I would appreciate it if you can take care of this matter as soon as you can. I do not want to have my first officer not fit for duty" he said, and smiled at the Vulcan.

Spock got up, and bid the Captain good night. When he was gone Kirk thought _I hope you know what you're doing._

* * *

Leela had made her mind up. She would leave the Enterprise. She couldn't live with her envy any longer. Every time she thought of Crane she wanted to puke. She was so astounded at herself for reacting this way. She had been competitive but it had never gotten in the way before. Now, with the Vulcan being aware of her feelings, she could not chance it. She sat down and wrote a letter requesting a transfer. _Might as well do this before I get too much attention_ she thought. After the letter was ready, she hesitated a few seconds before pressing the button that will send the letter to the Captain's terminal.

Eventually she got annoyed at herself _This is what you want! So,_ _why are you hesitating?_ When it was done she decided to go for a walk to the arboretum. She needed to relax, and to arrange her thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

The bleeping of the chronometer broke into his dream, and he yelled "OFF!" at it. He still did not feel rested and he couldn't believe that it was already time to get up. He couldn't remember what he had dreamt about, just that it had been very unsettling. _That's why you're_ _feeling so drained,_ he figured. Well, he was the Captain and he could not set a bad example. With a yawn that could have been heard through a number of thick bulkheads he got up to a sitting position and stretched. Then he noticed that his terminal was blinking, and that finally got him out of bed. It wasn't unusual for him to get messages in the middle of the night, but it was less common. Crewperson's tended to adjust themselves to the Captain's schedule, and send messages to him during his 'day' period.

There was only one message. It was from an Ensign Leela Gray. He knew that she was one of Uhura's people. Very quiet officer. _A little_ _too quiet,_ he thought. He didn't know too much else about her. That was why he was surprised at her request for a transfer. She only gave 'personal reasons' as to why she wanted to leave the Enterprise, _his_ ship. He took such things personally. If a crewperson was experiencing problems on his ship, that reflected badly on him, and he did not want a person to suffer while on board the Enterprise, if possible. How come he wasn't aware of a problem here? He'll have to speak to McCoy about this. The doctor was supposed to detect such things. He will have to talk to this ensign. He checked the duty roster.

Ensign Gray was not due on the bridge till later. He _was_ due on the bridge, but Spock could cover for him. He informed Spock that he will be coming a bit late to the bridge today, then he contacted McCoy.

* * *

Leonard McCoy believed he was going to have another boring day. Although he blessed God for every day that he kept him out of business, he had to admit that the boredom was getting to him. He longed desperately for a planet survey. He jumped when the table comm bleeped. _I must have been far away from here_ he smiled inwardly.

"McCoy" he answered.

"Bones" a very tired Jim Kirk voice greeted him. McCoy was on alert.

"Bones, I have a word with you. Do you mind if I drop by?" _such_ _politeness from the Captain?_ McCoy didn't like it. This meant that something was wrong.

"Sure, anytime" he said.

It didn't take too long for the Captain to arrive at McCoy's office.

Now it was obvious that Kirk was under the weather, and McCoy restrained himself from passing his medical scanner over him. _It's_ _probably nothing_ he tried to convince himself, and he turned towards the Captain and smiled "Well, Jim. What brings you here so early in the morning?", but Kirk had no time for the doctor's bedside-manner.

"Cut it out Bones! *I* know, *you* know, that I am in a bad mood, so just let me get this out, OK?!" he said.

McCoy made an insulted face "Well, if I knew you would be bringing Grumpy in with you, I might have gone out" he retorted.

"Funny Bones. I thought *you* and Grumpy were the best of friends"

McCoy was about to answer Kirk's sarcastic comment, when the Captain raised his hands "Bones, let me finish".

McCoy realized that he'd best let the Captain say what he came to say, or he might end up in the brig. He pointed to a chair beside his desk "Well, you might as well sit down, Jim".

The Captain wasn't quite sure about this, but feeling his weariness creep over him, he decided to accept the doctor's offer.

"Why don't you tell what's bothering you to your good friend, the old country doctor" McCoy said.

At the sound of McCoy's rather patronizing voice, Kirk sighed "Bones, I found a message on my terminal this morning."

Bones looked at Kirk "So..." he drawled.

"So, an officer under *my* command has requested a transfer because of 'personal reasons' and I didn't even know that she had a problem."

McCoy was beginning to see what the Captain was getting at.

"Bones, I thought that you would inform me if a crewperson had a problem" said Kirk with an accusative tone.

"May I ask for the crewperson's name?" asked McCoy while going over in his mind on the list of crewpersons. He did not remember any particular problem and his certainly did not expect it to be the person Kirk was about to name.

"It's Ensign Leela Gray". Kirk said.

"Ensign Gray?!" said a surprised McCoy.

"She's the sweetest, quietest person on this ship. She gets along with everybody. Are you sure?" McCoy asked.

"Bones, I'm sure" said Kirk, weariness in his voice.

McCoy was tempted to ask him why he looked and sounded so miserable, but he held his tongue.

"Doctor, would you mind bringing up the ensign's psyche profile?".

The doctor did as the Captain asked, although he already knew that there was nothing out of the ordinary in that file. Kirk skimmed through the file and then looked up at McCoy. "I'm sorry Bones. I see why you had nothing to report"

"That's alright, Jim" McCoy said softly. "Listen, I'll ask her to come in and give her another evaluation, OK?" suggested McCoy.

"I don't think so, Bones" and as he saw the doctor was about to object, he raised his hand to hush him and continued "I will talk this over with her, try to find out what's going on. After that I will hand her to you. Agreed?"

The doctor had no choice. "Agreed" he said, but not wholeheartedly.

* * *

Leela was expecting that call, but it still didn't ease the butterflies fluttering in her belly. The Captain had called her in her quarters and she was now on her way to the briefing room. She tried not to look at the faces of the people passing by, but she could not avoid the crying out of Crane's voice from the other side of the corridor "HEY, LEEELAA!"

 _Oh Goddess, *why* now?_ she thought, and contemplated moving on as if she did not hear Crane, but who was she kidding? She could bet that Crane's shout was heard in all the nearby star systems and probably beyond. With a heavy sigh she turned towards the rather loud Crane. She had a smile plastered on her face by the time she had finished turning.

"Hi" she said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Leela, how are you?" an excited Crane asked.

"I'm fine. You?" she asked politely.

"Oh, I'm so excited. In five minutes I'll start my first day shift" said a proud Crane.

Now Leela had to turn around and stifle a cough. _You mustn't react_ _to this!_ _You have to control yourself!_ she clenched her teeth and noted that her hands formed fists, while her short nails were piercing the skin of her palms. It was like she was holding to life itself. Then she remembered Crane, and slowly turned around to face her.

"Everything OK?" asked Crane.

"Oh, I got something caught in my throat. It's OK." and before Crane could continue she said. "Listen, I have to go. I have an appointment to keep" then she disappeared into the nearest turbolift.

Crane, finding herself alone, muttered to herself "Boy, and you think you know someone".

* * *

He was sitting by himself by the briefing room table. He could not escape the strong feeling of worry gnawing at him. _*What* the hell_ _is wrong with you?!._ He knew he tended to worry, but could it have worsened during the last day or so? He attributed it to Spock's strange behaviour at first, but now he came to realize that it was something more. In fact, now that he came to think about it, he had been feeling like this ever since he went to sleep. No, he was alright before he fell asleep. It was something that happened while he was sleeping.

He was beginning to believe that there was some pattern to it when he heard the sound of the doors opening. He looked up and saw a young woman. _She's just a girl,_ he thought. He gave her a smile. He could tell that she was very nervous by the way she moved. He noticed a slight trembling of the hands, and also the blood stains on her palms.

Leela felt that her butterflies were rising to the level of her throat. The Captain was sitting all alone, and when she looked at his face she was certain that she saw a reflection of herself in it. _What could_ _worry the Captain so much?_ she pondered. Then he smiled. _He's_ _trying to make me feel better,_ she realized. Unfortunately, this worked the opposite way. She felt guilty. _I'm hurting him by leaving_ _this ship,_ she realized, but she knew that she couldn't stay on the Enterprise any longer.

Jim Kirk was about to invite the ensign to sit down when a strong feeling of what was unmistakably guilt caught him unprepared. _Am I_ _doing the right thing?_ he asked himself, and then he tried to shake that feeling. _I have to ignore these feelings. I'm the Captain. I cannot_ _allow guilt to cloud my judgment._ He stood and offered the shy ensign a seat. Then he began "Ensign, I received your request for transfer, and I must admit that I was quite surprised" The guilty pangs were getting stronger. He took a deep breath and continued "You see ensign, I like to be informed if there is a problem with one of my crewpeople. It is the CMO's duty to keep an eye on such things, so you can imagine how cross I was at Dr. McCoy for not making me aware of this problem." The guilt was rising "Thing is, my CMO was not aware that there *was* a problem, either" He noticed the ensign fidgeting in her seat, and he had such an awful feeling. _I shouldn't be_ _doing this to her,_ but even so he continued. "So, ensign, if there's nothing wrong, why on earth do you want to leave?"

Leela was prepared for that question "Sir" her voice was trembling "I would prefer to keep my reasons for myself. It is something very personal."

Kirk stared directly at her, and she flinched, but nonetheless, took in his gaze.

"Ensign, I respect your privacy, but on this matter I need some more substantial facts, before I can grant you a transfer, therefore, your request is denied" and he got up.

Leela could not believe that the Captain could be so unfeeling. She was about to protest his decision when the loud shrilling sound of a siren hollered, combined with Uhura's voice over the comm channels "RED ALERT!, RED ALERT!, This is not a drill! I repeat, this is not a drill!"

"Damn!" the Captain yelled, and he was out of the briefing room in a second.

Leela was left sitting by the table, her mouth wide open. Her thoughts were racing _Red Alert!? Now?!_ What could have brought this on, and at such bad timing.


	5. Chapter 5 - Final

Jim Kirk raced onto the bridge, just in time to hear Spock commanding "Raise shields". He turned to Spock. "Status!" he ordered.

From his position in the command chair Spock replied "Captain, a Rumulan Bird of Prey has decloked 17 seconds ago and is now heading at our direction, at an intercept course" Spock got up and Jim Kirk immediately took his place in the command chair.

The turbolift doors opened and deposited an annoyed Dr. McCoy. The doctor did not waste time and headed for the Captain's chair "Jim, what the hell's going on here?" he demanded.

"Not now bones!" The Captain said, his voice called for no arguments.

It was at that moment that Crane at the helm reported "five ships decloking!" fear ran through her voice. "Captain" she cried "We're surrounded!"

* * *

Leela couldn't wait in the briefing room any longer. The adrenaline built in her body to an almost intolerable level. The room had two doors. One of them lead in the direction of the bridge, but she knew that she could not enter the bridge during a crisis situation. The other lead to a corridor, but the crew were supposed to stay away from the corridors as much as possible during such situations, but she had enough of pacing the briefing room like a caged lion. _Well, the_ _corridor it is Maybe I'll get court-marshaled and that will get me_ _off the ship,_ she thought as she went towards the door. Then the ship jostled, and she lost her balance and fell, her abdomen meeting with the back of one of the chairs. It was rather painful, but she wasn't badly hurt. As she was catching her breath, and trying to stand up, she was thrown off her feet as the ship received another blow. _The_ _shields must be weakening_ her mind registered, as she lay sprawled on the floor. _Now I know why we aren't allowed to walk about the_ _corridors during red alerts,_ she thought, and she got herself to a sitting position on the floor, huddling her knees close to her chest.

* * *

"UHURA!" Kirk yelled "I don't care how you do it, get me *somebody* to talk to, preferably these Romulans or Starfleet Command!" _How did the Romulans_ _manage to enter Federation Space without being detected,_ was all that he could think of. The Enterprise was capable of handling one or even two Romulan ships on her own, but five ships were too much even for the flagship of the Federation. Kirk had no illusions, and he did not feel like he wanted to end his or his crew's life on this exact time and day.

He heard a door opening, and turned around to see a rather haggard-looking ensign Gray stepping out of the briefing room. He was about to order her back into the briefing room when another tirade of photon torpedoes hit the Enterprise and he had to turn back to the center of attention.

McCoy noticed the stunned ensign standing by the briefing room door, and went to see if she was alright.

"Young lady, I don't think the Captain would approve of your standing here" he said gently, and held her hand in order to direct her back into the briefing room. He found himself nearly collapsing with the strong sense of fear that hit him when he touched the young woman. Instinctively he let her go, and the feeling eased. He looked up at the ensign's face and saw her wide-open black eyes, staring in horror at the front screen. Suddenly everything seemed to fall in place. Well, almost everything.

He thought how he would get the ensign off the bridge. He couldn't bring himself to touching her again, and it was the first time that he believed he understood Spock's reaction to the Human touch. Despite all that was happening around him, he couldn't help but grin: _Well,_ _that green-blooded Vulcan would have a field trip if he heard this!_ he mused, when he heard sniffing sounds.

Turning to face the ensign he saw that she was crying. She made no sound, but crystal-clear droplets clung to her cheeks. He felt a stab in the heart. "Ensign, what say we get out of this crummy hole?" he pointed in the direction of the bridge and smiled.

"I... I can't... I can't stay here!" she said quietly, but he noticed her gritting her teeth.

"C'mon" he prodded, when she did not move.

Suddenly, she turned to face him. He wanted to escape her look. He wanted to keep his eyes away from hers but he couldn't.

"Doctor, I can't hold this much longer" she wailed "I *have* to get out of here. *Please* help me" she begged, but her voice was very weak.

Tears were forming in McCoy's eyes.

"Ensign, I want to help you but you have to trust me and tell me what's wrong" he said.

The ship vaulted and Leela could hear Crane's distressed cry "Captain, we've lost Shields four and five"

"Compensate!" the Captain yelled and gave the order to perform another of his tricky maneuvers. He really needed Sulu on the bridge but with the ship beet up so hard he knew it would be hard for him to reach the bridge. The young ensign Crane was good, but he noticed her heightened level of stress and was wondering how much longer she could hold. It was strange how he could sit on the bridge, in the middle of an attack and take in every little detail that was going on around him. It seemed like his level of awareness heightened during such situations. He was aware of a discussion going on behind him between the doctor and Ensign Gray. Although he wanted them both off the bridge, he felt that maybe the good doctor might bring the young woman to her senses.

Another jolt brought him out of his reverie.

"Uhura, I *know* you're doing the best, but I *need* to get backup. Are there no starships in the immediate vicinity?"

The Lieutenant didn't turn to talk to him but yelled over the noise of crackling wires.

"Sir! I managed to contact the Potemkin before the Romulans jammed our frequencies. They will get here as soon as possible"

"Do you have any idea what it is that I feel?" Leela asked.

The doctor could not answer.

"Sir, everything I feel is just too strong!" she cried. "You know that I want to kill ensign Crane?" "We're friends for crying out loud!" "She's never done a thing to me, and now I can't stand the sight of her!".

McCoy stared at her, as she broke into tears. _Poor girl,_ he thought. He wanted to hold her, and comfort her, but the memory of that strong emotion compelled him to stay back. "Ensign" he began gently "Why didn't you come and tell me that you had a problem?" he asked

"And tell you about my envy, my hate, my feelings of murder?" she laughed cynically. "Yeah, right. You would have dropped me at the first loony center you got to".

The doctor had to admit that she was right. "But ensign" he said "I gave you your last psyche evaluation a bit more than a month ago, and you passed with flying colours." McCoy stated.

"I know" she whispered. "I know, and that's why I am so worried"

McCoy looked into her deep black eyes "What's going on, ensign?" he asked, suspicion in his voice.

"If only I knew" she wept. "It's been going on like this for about two weeks now. At first I thought it was nothing more than a slight depression. You know, our missions haven't been too exciting lately, and these things can bring one down, or so I thought" McCoy could identify with that feeling. "But then I noticed that I was taking everything out of proportion. Everything that I thought I could handle like slight envious feelings, resent, fear - I am a very rational person doctor, and could always prevent myself from going overboard." She looked at his face and saw understanding. "Each one of us has these feelings from time to time, right?" "If I had presented such stronger tendencies you would have detected these in your bi-monthly evaluations, right?" McCoy nodded his assent. "Doctor, I can't control my feelings any longer! If I do not leave the Enterprise immediately, I might do something that every one of us will regret. You must understand this!"

At the sound of Leela's high tone the Captain turned "If you two wouldn't mind having this discussion off my bridge..." he pointed in the direction of the briefing room doors, then he noted McCoy's anxious look and stopped himself from saying anything further. _What_ _the hell is going on between those two?_ he wondered.

"Captain!" he heard Mr. Scott's voice from the comm.

"Yes Scotty" he answered, knowing exactly what the engineer was about to say.

"Captain, ye've got ta' get us outta' here. The shields won't hold on much longer"

Yes, it was exactly what he expected. Taking a deep breath, he jabbed the comm button "I know Mr. Scott, and if I *could*, I would be far away from here, but I am a little bit tied up at the moment" He heard silence in response.

"Scotty?"

"Aye Captain. I was hoping you wouldna' said this" he heard the worry in the engineer's voice.

"Scotty, so was I".

"Captain, I'll give you as much as she can, but ye've got ta' know, there's not much left for her ta' give".

* * *

"Mr. Sulu!, ummm sorry, Mr. Crane, prepare to fire phasers, wide beam" he said to the ensign sitting by the helm. There wasn't much else left up his sleeve. They managed to disable three of the Romulan ships, but most of them were still going on strong, having more reserved power between the five of them, than the outnumbered Enterprise. Uhura was relaying the damage reports which began to flow into the bridge. How much longer could the Enterprise last this attack? Suddenly he noticed that the Romulans hadn't been firing on the Enterprise for a number of minutes.

Just as he was about to point this out to his first officer, Uhura called out "Sir! we're being hailed!"

Kirk swiveled in his chair "On screen!" he commanded. He did expect to see a Romulan face, but the expression on the Romulan's face caught him by surprise. 'Sheer horror' was the first thought that popped in his mind. He looked at Spock who returned his gaze with a raised eyebrow _My thoughts exactly,_ he thought.

McCoy peered at the screen. The Romulan's facial expression was the exact copy of that of the young ensign standing next to him. _She's_ _projecting her feelings on the Romulans,_ McCoy realized. "Of course" he said to no one in particular "They are more susceptible to such strong emotional projections, just like Spock" he figured. He glanced at Spock's direction, but the Vulcan seemed calm and relaxed, _just like a Vulcan!_ an annoyed thought passed through his mind.

Now the whole scope of the ensign's ability was revealed to him. She can focus on a person or persons and only these people would be affected. _If one could control such a talent, it could turn into a very_ _valuable asset,_ and he began searching in his mind for ideas concerning the harnessing of such capabilities.

* * *

"Captain Kirk, if you wouldn't mind please, to get away from our ships as fast as possible" said a trembling Romulan commander.

Kirk wasn't quite sure what to make of this, but he decided to play along "Romulan Commander, I think I should request the same of you." his firm voice said.

"Would you be so kind as to not fire your weapons on us as we leave back for the Romulan Empire territory" the strange acting Romulan Commander said.

 _I should inform the Federation of your breaching of a treaty,_ Kirk wanted to say, but he did not want to push his luck. "This time, Romulan Commander, to show you that I do not hold a grudge, I will let your fleet of intruders leave Federation space unharmed."

The Romulan's eyes widened, he immediately shouted a command to one of his underlings, and then turned back to Kirk "Your graciousness will not be forgotten" and the screen blinked out of life.

"Sir, the Romulan ships are departing" informed Crane.

"Spock, did you just see what I saw?" said an astonished Kirk.

"Indeed" replied the Vulcan "Most peculiar".

"Well, Spock, if you were so smart you wouldn't have found this as peculiar as it was" a rough voice said from behind the two of them.

As they both turned Kirk said "Well Bones, would you mind shedding some light on the situation"

McCoy took the bait "Captain, may I present Ensign Leela Gray, our saviour" he pointed his chin in the ensign's direction.

For the first time since the crisis began Kirk took note of the frazzled state the ensign was in.

"We've met," the Captain said.

It was Spock who now spoke "Captain, if I may suggest, could we have this conversation in the briefing room".

Jim Kirk could not see any particular reason for this, and turned to Spock for an explanation, but McCoy put his hand on the Captain shoulder and held the Captain's gaze with his gray-blue eyes "Jim" he said gently "I agree with Spock".

The Captain's eyes widened "Well now, as it is an historical occasion, I shall indulge the two of you" he got up and pointed to the briefing room "Gentlemen, lady, if you please..." then turning back he ran his eyes over the crew he was leaving on the bridge. His eyes landed on ensign Crane "Mr. Crane, you have the conn," and he left the bridge knowing that he made somebody very happy today.

* * *

Epilogue

"Captain's Log. Stardate 4256.13"

"We are in orbit of the planet Vulcan, where we are leaving a member of our crew, Ensign Leela Gray. After the incident with the Romulans it was discovered that a latent gene in the ensign's body had caused her to develop deeper emotional sensations, with the ability to project these emotions on people who were more sensitive to such without being in physical contact with them. Also, a regular person without any telepathic capability would be able to sense the ensign's emotions when touching her.

As for myself, it seems that although I am a regular Human being, I was affected through the emotional link I share with my first officer, thus resulting in fatigue and a tendency for worry and guilt.

Due to the ensign's belief that her ability to keep those strong emotions of hers under control was weakening, Science Officer Spock suggested that she be taken to Vulcan where she would be taught methods to enable her to live with her new found talent. The ensign has agreed, and I am now awaiting the return of my first officer after he will take care of formal procedures.

It is my hope that in the future Ensign Leela Gray will return to the Enterprise with the ability to use her talent to the benefit of the Federation and all Humankind"

THE END

* * *

 *****(2016 hindsight... Yikes... I wrote a Mary Sue...)*****


End file.
